Portraits of Grace: Andrew

Portraits of Grace is a snapshot into the lives of the people at King’s Cross Church. As “kingdom minded, kingdom people,” we recognize God’s work in every detail of our lives. We invite you to meet the people of our church.

Photo by Albert Cheung

I was very insecure growing up. That along with being bullied made me associate self-confidence with the way I looked and carried myself.  Public perceptions shaped my thoughts and actions.  When I lost weight during college, I started to be more confident because people respected me more, and gave me praise for drastic transformations in looks and demeanor.  This confidence would carry me towards bigger roles in the church, a first relationship with a significant other, acceptance into grad school, etc.  I was starting to subconsciously correlate my confidence to these successes.  It was when I lost the grades in grad school and failed in my relationship that I started to question my significance in the grand scheme of God’s story, something I never asked myself previously.  My confidence was back to its lows.  By God’s provision (of His Word and community) I started to realize I wasn’t relying on the grace of Christ for my worth and identity. By redefining my knowledge of the Gospel, I understood the intricate relationship between grace and confidence, and that the latter stems from and is a response to the prior.  It’d be a lie if I said that the problem has been solved; one of the reasons why I feel like I force myself to go to the gym so often nowadays is because my insecurity still creeps out from time to time. I’m always reminded to look back onto my post-grad years and thank God for revealing my idols.